I've Changed My Mind

I've always felt horrible on the odd occasion when I say something and decide to do something else. Is it okay to change my mind? 

Three years ago, I moved to the UK and hated it. What I imagined to be an amazing adventure wasn't how I wanted it to be and I was miserable. Friends didn't come by easy and love, well, I didn't have much luck either. I was told I should've known when I chose to move and that comment just made me feel even more stupid.

Today, I find myself with a beautiful person in the middle of Greenwich, celebrating 50 years since the decriminalising of homosexuality and wishing my time here wasn't coming to an end. Although I'm not quite enthusiastic about living just about anywhere in Britain, I'm starting to understand and accept the culture here and life in London finally appealed to me. 

I have one more month here to enjoy the final days and despite the odds, I'm hoping there's an employer willing to sponsor my stay. I've got appointments with recruiters scheduled, book crits to be planned, events to attend, an award to pick up, my first Pride to experience, people to hang out with and a bit more free time to figure out ways to live as a Londoner.

I've said so many times that I want to be in New York or Sydney for work so it's funny how people would catch me saying something else and I'll feel like I've lied to them. Surely I'm allowed to change my mind? Some people get almost offended and think I was fickled-minded. Aren't we all? Is that a bad thing? It's hard not to care what people think sometimes. Why is that?